I started Minecraft with the hope of becoming the greatest wizard of all wizards in Minecraft history. I had it all planned out; I would make a little wizard house, fill it with books, find diamonds and make an enchantment table, go to the nether, get the means to make potions and finally go to The End to defeat the Ender dragon. It was a wonderful plan. But of course, Minecraft is a magical land filled with distraction, and therefore I accidentally became a witch – in the Terry Pratchett sense I mean. That is to say, I became a farmer/hunter-gatherer. I don’t know how it is that I always end up going that route, but there it is. One minute I’m cave diving, running out of wood, panicking and thusly returning, terrified and pickaxeless to the surface, the next I am breeding pink sheep.
Pink sheep are no longer rare Minecraft. At first I thought I was just really damn lucky in finding so many, but really they are just everywhere. Because I’ve been conditioned to believe that the wool of a pink sheep is incredibly rare and must be harvested (for certain reasons), I have this strong, overpowering urge to do so when I see them. I have a stack of pink sheep in my house and also many naked sheep running about in the area as if indignant about their new lack of wool. I was rather disappointed to find that their wool doesn’t actually grow back yet. It will be a little weird breeding them for wool because in order to maintain some kind of visual sanity, one would have to kill the shorn ones in front of their children. Obviously, they are little square sheep but the thought of it is nonetheless disturbing.
I digress. My point is, I took advantage of the breeding and initiated my own little breeding program of both white and pink sheep.
With my sheep breeding program up and running and a small brick farmhouse to call home – complete with an upstairs dedicated to future wizarding when I finally stop being a farmer – it was time to raise some chickens (obviously). I set to work building a coop and began searching the surrounding area for the chickens themselves – or did Notch make officially dub them ducks? Either way, there didn’t seem to be any of the little feathered buggers anywhere close to my farm, but I eventually found one after an exhaustive search and managed to lead it home along with a few stray sheep.
Several more minutes of searching for chickens ensued, but my attention span failed me. I then realized that I had collected eggs whilst exploring earlier in my adventure, so I set about throwing them to see what was inside rather than continue to look aimlessly about the countryside. Eventually, ten eggs and much frustration later, a chick appeared. I offered the baby bird some wheat to try and coax it into the coop and then realized my own folly. Why didn’t I just throw the damn eggs into the coop to start with? I am obviously daft.
I quickly learned that chicks don’t like wheat. I had three eggs left and half a day to get the bird into the coop. Naturally, ridiculousness ensued. There was much loud cursing – Chris (my house mate) eventually came to observe and spend the next five minutes laughing at me as I attempted to plant fences around the scrambling baby chicken/duck thing. Eventually it got dark and I got angry. Currently, the chick is buried two blocks underground because spleefing was the most efficient way of trapping it. There’s a big dirt tower marking the spot. I’ll probably dig it up when it’s become a fully-fledged chicken to lead it into the coop. The other eggs? The first one I threw into the chicken coop hatched.
Obviously, my initial quest to become the greatest Minecraft wizard ever was becoming a sad, distant hope. To try and realign my efforts, I decided to make six bookshelves with the memory in mind that enchantment tables are more powerful when books are present.
The result? A rather unimpressive effort that did nothing to move me to toward my ultimate wizarding goal.
Feeling down, I decided to pursue other activities, but felt reluctant to try cave diving and mining again until I had more resources. Pondering my failure as a magic-doer, I suddenly decided that I would feel more magical if my house was guarded by certain lumps of animated snow. I remembered from my previous attempts at exploration that there was a snow biome to the north and so I journeyed forth and collected snow – I’d already acquired pumpkins from earlier. It’s probably worth noting that whilst on my expedition, I fought a few Endermen, my first foray into “Adventure” mode as opposed to “creative,” and they are much more formidable.
In the end, I had these guys making a mess all over my garden.
Anyway, Snow golems and bookshelves aside, I am not any closer to getting an enchantment table or becoming Minecraft’s greatest ever wizard. Further progress will be logged in a similarly long-winded and silly manner.
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This makes me want to play Minecraft even more. Any game so fun and full of options that it can completely distract me from what I originally intended is a winner in my book.